Houston, We Love You | Post Hurricane Harvey

For those of us that do not live in hurricane territory, it's difficult to imagine the devastation that is currently going on in Houston, TX. We see the photos of the elderly, stranded up to the chest in water. (They've been rescued, by the way!)  We read heartbreaking stories from families who have lost their homes, their cars, and feared for their lives. We see the pleas for donations and prayers and compassion, but when you're on the outside, it's hard to know how exactly you can help.

I've never been to Houston and while I want to help, my voice is not the one that should be speaking here. I asked my lovely friend and current Houston resident, Koryn, to write whatever was on her heart. (I love Koryn and her beautiful little family a lot and am so thankful that they are safe.)

“A lot of people outside of Texas have very little concept of the Fourth Largest City in the US. Houston is one of the most diverse cities in the entire US. It’s a huge melting pot, a thriving metropolis, it’s got everything, food from any country you can think of, as well as people. It’s totally international. We’ve had a democratic mayor for probably as long as most millennials have been alive, and for the last few years it’s been my home. It’s lush greenery and beautiful skyline surprise a lot of out of towners. People stop you on the street and ask how you are, and they genuinely mean it; Because that’s the kind of town Houston is.

Over the last few days we’ve seen flooding on the news, Hurricane Harvey has levelled entire cities in its wake, Port Arthur and Rockport have seen catastrophic damages. Houston and the surrounding suburbs are as large as the entire state of Connecticut and have twice the population. The damage there is unimaginable, we still don’t know how many people we’ve lost. This is probably the largest natural disaster that we’ve seen in our lifetimes and watching Houston come together over the last few days has been awe inspiring. Several thousands of people have lost their homes, most of the rescues have been done by citizens with privately owned boats. It’s not over yet. As more rain is forecast and more people flood as reservoirs go through perilous controlled releases on from our aging dams, this Space City is going to need help. Houston is tough, Houston is strong, but we definitely need help.”

— Koryn Coalson, Houston Resident

I wanted to donate to a relief fund but wasn't sure where to even begin finding legitimate ones. I've compiled a list of reputable charities, pulled from various articles, facebook posts from those in the storm, and suggestions from Koryn. I would love for this to be a live document, so if I have missed anything, please let me know and I'll add it.

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Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund: Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner has established this Hurricane Harvey Relief Fund for victims that have been affected by the recent floods.

Hurrican Harvey LGBTQ+ Disaster Fund: Houston's Montrose Center - a prominent LGBTQ+ counseling and community center - is managing this campaign to aid LGBTQ+ community members that have been displaced by the storm. They are very close to their $250,000 fundraising goal. Let's help push them over!

Harvey - Money for the People: A live document listing additional fundraising groups compiled by Houstonian Selina Pishori. This list will be continuously updated moving forward.

Houston Food Bank: Through the Houston Food Bank site, you can donate money, donate food and supplies, and volunteer to help distribute to those who have been displaced. They've included a list of their most needed items.

Houston Food Not Bombs: Food Not Bombs provides vegetarian and vegan meals for those in need. They're a fantastic anti-violence organization that's been in business since 1994 with no government funding. They need volunteers to help prepare food and pick up donations.

Houston Furniture Bank: We currently don't have an accurate number on how many families have lost their homes and been displaced. Through Houston Furniture Bank, you can organize a furniture drive, donate whatever pieces you can spare, and donate to help these families get back on their feet.

Texas Diaper Bank: Through this page, you can donate money and supplies so that they can provide emergency diaper kits for displaced families.

South Texas Blood and Tissue Center: As of this moment, this blood drive center is full-up on donors (good job, guys!) but keep an eye on the site. They should be taking appointments again soon.

Houston SPCA: The Houston SPCA has set up an Animal Emergency Response hotline as well as a donation page. It also provides Disaster Preparation lists, detailing how to keep your animal pals safe. This facebook group, Austin Pets Alive!, is also collecting donations to aid rescue efforts for stranded companions.

Resource Guide for those in Houston: Another live document, this compilation of links includes (but is not limited to): accurate weather updates, evacuation information, emergency numbers, shelter information, road closures, accessible food, legal counsel, and resources for infants, disabled folks, and mental health needs.

2016 | A Year in Review

I've seen a lot of articles circulating recently about how 2016 isn't sentient, it's not killing anyone, there is no cosmic destruction on some vast and infinite scale. And while that's obviously true, I don't think anyone will argue that the year took on a life of its own. Much in the way that TV shows often claim that "New York is a character, not a setting," I think 2016 amassed so many you-can't-make-this-stuff-up moments, it's become more than the linear passage of time.

As per usual, for anyone interested, here is a list of knowledge I found in the rubble. Because I am one of the people who had a full-on nightmare of a year, I'm going to try and keep this about the good parts that came out of the bad. I think positivity is going to be really important in the year to come.

• We are all very different people with very different opinions and beliefs. With mindful speaking and respect, we can co-exist and that peace is important, but so is standing up for what's right. It's great if you don't want to get into a long, involved debate with Great Aunt So-and-so at Thanksgiving, but it's also fine to speak up if something being said doesn't sit well with you. Standing up for myself has never been a strong suit of mine and is definitely the most important thing I've worked on this year.
  

• I found a deep pride in facets of who and what I am (ex: Mexican woman) that I never would have explored as much if those parts of me hadn't been so threatened this year. As soon as my dad finishes his American citizenship journey (which will hopefully end January 10th!), I'll be proceeding with acquiring my Mexican dual citizenship.
  

• I finished school in May and found a job in my field in November. I didn't expect that to happen as quickly as it did and I'm so thankful for the lucky series of events that led up to both of those things happening. Taking the job also meant reconciling my hatred for LA, my depression towards having to give up my life and move home, and the abrupt change in all of my plans - none of which has been easy for me. Still not there yet, if we're being honest.
  

• I have become part robot. Thanks to my bionic legs, I have significantly less pain while walking (which says a lot because I still can't walk further than two blocks in one go). I can balance a little bit better than I could before. My legs look less deformed, since they are less deformed. The scars are weird and dark purple and less than ideal. I still can't bend my left leg past 90 degrees, but I suppose as far as side effects go, this isn't the worst one.
  

• After my surgery, I was incapable of doing anything for myself. From things as simple as getting a glass of water to really embarrassing stuff like being helped with any semblance of a bathroom or a shower, I needed help. I am not good at asking for help and I've been very independent for most of my life, so these were some huge, humbling, anxiety-inducing several months. I learned that it's okay to need help and the people that love you won't hold that over your head.
  

• Speaking of the people who love me, thankyouthankyouthankyou to those people who had to deal with me on a daily basis during my recovery. To my mom for washing my hair for me and letting me cry on you sometimes, my dad for physically carrying me around from bed to chair and back and for yelling at nurses when necessary, Jared for coming out for a month to keep me company, Jordan for providing much needed conversation and comic relief (and bringing Scarlet, the puppy who was the only thing that could consistently make me happy, into my life), and Alex, for being the best partner I could ever imagine despite me constantly having emotional breakdowns at you. Thank you to the friends that drove so far to visit me. Thank you to the friends who kept me virtual company (special shoutout to Kels for being literally the only person who understood exactly what I was going through).I love you all so much and I could not have done this without your support. And to those couple of you that decided me and my surgery were too much trouble for you to deal with, I guess I hope you had a better 2016 than I did.

We're leaving this year off on a scary, kind of ambiguous note and I'm not going to lie, I really don't want to find out what's going to happen next year but, that's life.

So it goes.

A Woman Without a Country | On Multi-Ethnicity

    As we all know, this election cycle has been unavoidable and exhausting. For all of us, there has been at least one talking point that hits deeply. Without getting into the political nitty gritty of it all, I want to talk about some of what's been brought up for me. This is bound to be long, but bear with me.

    I am Mexican. My father is (still) a Mexican national, born in the southern province of Tabasco. Growing up, that heritage was a huge part of my day-to-day life. I called my grandmother abuelita and loved reading aloud to her whenever she asked me to teach her more English. She was disappointed when I didn’t want a quinceañera. My dad's side of the family spoke primarily Spanish at get-togethers and they started teaching it to me at the same time I was learning English. I loved pan dulce and hated molé and ate homemade tamales with wild abandon. Our holidays followed Hispanic custom (which was particularly annoying when we wouldn't open presents on Christmas Eve until midnight). I grew up as a proud Hispanic child in a heavily Mexican populated town. I never questioned this part of my identity.

    As I got older, my abuela got sick. The family stopped seeing each other as frequently. The tío who hosted family gatherings had an accident, so the mantle was passed on to my mother - whose family hails from the Midwest. The Mexican customs faded. Dad stopped speaking Spanish at home. My ability to speak it faded. My younger brothers were raised with significantly less Hispanic influence. However, it wasn't until I went to a Mexican majority high school that I felt uncomfortable with myself. People laughed when I told them that I, too, was Mexican. I look white, so I couldn't possibly be Hispanic. Hell. My full blooded Mexican father looks as white as I do. I can read Spanish proficiently, but my speaking is poor. What does that count for in the scheme of things?

    I went from being a Mexican child raised in a Hispanic family to being too white to be Mexican (yet simultaneously too Mexican to be white). I'm a woman without a culture and this election has only pushed the divide further. When Trump talks about immigration, about what brutes and losers my people are, I feel the hurt in my bones. I worry for my father, who is in the process of obtaining his citizenship. And on a less societally important level, I'm worried that I'm not involved enough in my heritage to feel as personally attacked as I do.

    This year has shown me that it's time to reconnect. I want to know more about my family. I want to travel to my dad's childhood home and see where we came from. I want to push my language skills beyond Spanish 2. I’m already in the process of obtaining dual citizenship (and when people ask me why, I know that it stems from emotionally needing that piece of paper to prove that, yes, I am Mexican). I’m going to a Dia de Los Muertos celebration as well as a Halloween party this year (and yes, I’m aware that it isn’t Mexican Halloween). It's important that I don't feel so uncomfortable with incorporating my culture into my life that I feel like I'm appropriating it.

    With all of this in mind, no matter which way the election falls, I will be doing my best to find who I am within the context of my ancestry. You'll be seeing more of this in my artwork going forward and I hope that you'll follow along with me on this journey.

    To quote Neruda (who I will be reading substantially more from as I start learning Spanish again), "Algún día en cualquier parte, en cualquier lugar indefectiblemente té encontrarás a ti mismo, y ésa, sólo ésa, puede ser la más feliz o las más amarga de tus horas."

Translated: Someday, somewhere - anywhere, unfailingly, you'll find yourself, and that, and only that, can be the happiest or bitterest hour of your life.

My dad is that little one in the middle with the cool guy eyebrow thing going on

My adorable little abuela

My father’s unenthused face looks exactly the same now as it did when he wore suspenders. Mid-1950s

The Miserable Malalignment | An Uncommon Diagnosis

Here is an x-ray pre-surgery. The orange line is for reference as to where my bones should be.

As is expected post an extensive surgery, I've had a lot of people asking how I'm holding up. I love you all and really appreciate the concern. Also as is expected post surgery, I have been way too out of it to respond much. I figured I would just do a blanket update here so I don't have to repeat myself a hundred times.

Short recap: I have a condition called Miserable Malalignment. It's fairly uncommon, to the point where the majority of my nurses didn't know what it was. Nutshelled, it means that the bones in my legs were rotated in opposite directions, leaving none of my joints stacked, my knees on the inside of my legs, and me legally disabled in the state of Massachusetts. I made the decision last September to get a surgery so intense, it gave me a panic attack the first time I heard what it was. The surgery is called a rotational osteotomy and I needed four of them at once.

I won't lie, last week was actual hell. People kept telling me that it wouldn't be as bad as it was in my head but the truth of it was so, so much worse than anything I could have imagined. I'm doing my best to forget the hospital experience as quickly as I can. The trauma is severe. 

The surgery I had is called a rotational osteotomy, which means they break the bone to rotate it and insert a metal rod. I had four - one per femur and per tibia/fibula on each leg - simultaneously. That means six concurrent broken bones. Needless to say, it was an overwhelming and extensive surgery. 

I have a short list of things I learned during my six days in Loma Linda. 

• Don't ever get surgery during a holiday weekend. The doctors you need won't be accessible, there will be very few nurses, and it will be impossible to get your medication in a timely manner.

• Make sure your nurses are 100% aware of what surgery you got. Otherwise, don't let them move your legs.

• When no one believes you that you're resistant to painkillers, it will take no less than four angry adults (not including you) to get them to listen to you.

• When they give you a level 0-10 pain scale, it is possible to reach a 15. It is also possible for your nurse to do nothing and leave you there. Twice. (Resulting in one nurse being written up.)

• But then, when you find the one nurse that makes everything seem a little more okay, you'll be really thankful (and feel guilty) that she works twelve hour shifts.

Special thanks to Katie, who mommed me so hard. Dom, who provides impeccable moral support. Brian and Brittany, who drove so far not once but twice. Melissa, who came all the way from Arizona to love me. Vince, who brought flowers, laughs, and didn't mind that I almost immediately fell asleep. Ben and Charly, for sending the most beautiful flowers I've ever gotten. Emily, Brittany, the Santos, and Jay/Eugene/Kat, for the cards and care packages. My inexhaustible parents, for sitting up with me all night, bringing me smoothies, being my advocates and warriors. And Alex, the love of my life, who has gone so far beyond the call of duty, I will never be able to make it up to him. I couldn't have made it through any of this without him softly coaching me through some of the most humiliating moments I can even imagine.

Flowers from Ben and Charly.

Doped as hell, day 2.

The only thing I saw for six days.

My situation for the next several weeks. I can barely stand and walking isn't really feasible until the swelling goes down.

Because my situation sounds like a Series of Unfortunate Events book (which is one of my favorite book series), my amazing mother drew this fake book cover and sent it to Lemony Snicket himself. He sent me this note back, signed as "representative Daniel Handler."

I'm looking at many months of minimal movement and a lot of pain, hoping that my knees will bend one of these days and eventually relearning to walk. Since all my muscles, tendons, and skin are in different places, lord only knows when the pain will subside. Fingers crossed that it's sooner rather than later.

Anyone nearby enough to visit, I would love visitors basically whenever. I have a lot of time to kill. 

Spring in Boston | Photo Adventure

My lovely friend, Jay, and I took an adventure through Cambridgeside back in March. I - being more stressed out than I've ever been whilst preparing for my move/the end of school/the impending surgery - completely forgot that I had even taken these pictures. (Sorry, Jay.) 

There's nothing better than shooting a beautiful person in a beautiful city with some beautiful weather. We can pretend that the wind WASN'T going a million miles an hour this whole time, even though it almost blew both me and my camera into the ocean. We can also pretend that I can swim.

Bellwire Music Video | "JAKL"

Back in November, I had the opportunity to film a music video for my lovely friend Tyler's band, Bellwire. Ty and I are frequent collaborators and work best when I am executing his visions. This was no different. Ty wanted to cram as many folks as we could into a tiny shower and, by god, we made it happen.

Boston Tattoo Company | Artist Portraits

Between school and freelance illustration work, I don't have a ton of time for photography anymore (even though it'll always be my first love in the art world). However, this week, I got to dive into a really fun project with some of my favorite people in Boston.

Boston Tattoo Company - my former workplace and current frequent hangout spot - asked me to shoot some portraits of their artists. All of these guys are SO talented, on top of being unfairly photogenic. I've linked each photo to their respective instagrams, so show their profiles some love.

De Nouveau Sur La Route | Montreal

This fourth of July, we decided it would be a great idea to celebrate our independence by getting out of the good ol' US of A. Road trip snacks, spotify playlists, and vague ideas for points-of-interest in tow, we made the trip up to Montreal.

Kudos to Canada for having a much better fireworks show than I've ever seen in America, however unrelated to Independance Day it may've been.